Wednesday, 27 February 2008
Traffic Cop Ballet
Police in Romania are taking ballet lessons from professional dancers, so they can direct traffic more gracefully.
The aim is to achieve elegance in their movements, which could also ease the stress of drivers who are waiting at a red light.
Where are thier tu-tu's and leotards?
Got any stories of crazy courses from the UK?
Friday, 22 February 2008
Radio Ga-Ga
Well I can tell you that it wasn't over the van with the new 'police' radio as the press are reporting it was over the van with the FM radio.
Because this all happened on the evening of the UEFA cup final and PC Emerson-Thomas wanted to listen the the footy!
Today he has been found not quilty, despite all the witnesses being police officers!! The judge allegedly adding it was a trivial matter. I don't call 8 stitches trivial!!
I feel for Pc Bartlett who was forced to pursue the matter by the bosses.
Thursday, 24 January 2008
Yes son your Grandad was there
This is the start.

When we were first told about the white baseball caps at some motorway service station I was very dubious. However from the ground they had a great visual impact, all you could see was sea of white it was great. Initially I thought what a waste of money I'm never gonna wear this again, but then again I suppose they will probably come in handy next year!!
Here's a pic from the BBC website taken from admiralty arch.

Here's the view from the ground.

Well it seems like the government aren't taking any notice tho. As for Jackie Smith not even turning up what an insult. Yeah sure it would have been a difficult day for her. But if we all didn't turn up for work when we were expecting a difficult day where would we be??
There are now rumors the government want to force us to change the pensions we signed up to!!
Thursday, 17 January 2008
I predict a riot…
Yes folks its stand up and be counted time. January the 23rd 2008 one week from now is where its all going to change! (or maybe not)
The police federation are marching on the capitol, in response to the back stabbing and underhand Jackie (spliff) Smiths decision to not pay us the pay rise the independent arbitrators recommended.
Ok so I’m not expecting scenes like when the anarchists protest, just some well mannered grumbling from some polite police officers. However if you don’t make the effort to go you can’t complain when nothing is done.
Having said that I believe this is not just about the £130 or so I’ve been deprived off. It’s about bringing attention to an untrustworthy, deceitful and hypocritical government.
They can’t be trusted with there own book keeping, so how can we trust them with our money (yes you Peter Haine) ?
They go back on agreements (yes you Jackie Smith).
They say public sector workers can’t have above inflation pay rises then give themselves 6% on top of their already large salaries with expenses (yes all of you).
Gordon Brown seems to forget he is in an extremely privileged position, he is an unelected Prime minister. No general member of the public has ever voted for you Mr Brown. The cabinet has changed so many times since the last election, that this government does not reflect the government that were elected by the population.
So what ever your gripe, whether you are a nurse, a teacher, a prison officer, an officer from Scotland or whether you are just fed up and frustrated with this current administration please join us in London next Wednesday!
Saturday, 17 November 2007
Art or criminal damage?
I don't know if any of you are already familiar with this persons work or not but lately I have seen his work at least Banksy inpired works appearing in my city.
Recently he has been auctioning his work off for tens of thousands:
On 7 February 2007, Sotheby's auction house in London auctioned three Banksy works and reached the highest ever price for a Banksy work at auction of over £102,000 for his Bombing Middle England. Two of his other graffiti works, Balloon Girl and Bomb Hugger, sold for £37,200 and £31,200 respectively, which were well above their estimate prices.The following day's auction saw a further three Banksy works reach soaring prices. Ballerina With Action Man Parts reached £96,000 whilst Glory sold for £72,000 and Untitled (2004) sold for £33,600 - all three auctions sold way over expected estimates. To coincide with the second day of auctions, Banksy updated his website front home page with a new image of an auction house scene with people bidding on a picture that said, "I Can't Believe You Morons Actually Buy This Shit."
Here is a selection of my favourites. More can be found here.
So is it art or criminal damage????



Thursday, 11 October 2007
Top of the Cops
Well done Lancashire I sure your bosses will be getting big slaps on the back. Not so good for Bedfordshire tho, come on guys get those cannabis warnings in!!
Lancashire 18 1
Surrey 18 1
Cumbria 16 3
Northumbria 16 3
Dyfed Powys 15 5
Hampshire 15 5
Hertfordshire 15 5
Leicestershire 15 5
Suffolk 15 5
West Mercia 15 5
Norfolk 14 11
South Yorkshire 14 11
West Yorkshire 14 11
Metropolitan 13 14
North Yorkshire 13 14
Staffordshire 13 14
West Midlands 13 14
City of London 12 18
Dorset 12 18
Merseyside 12 18
North Wales 12 18
Sussex 12 18
Essex 11 23
Gloucestershire 11 23
Kent 11 23
Avon and Somerset 10 26
Cambridgeshire 10 26
Cheshire 10 26
Cleveland 10 26
Durham 10 26
Nottinghamshire 10 26
Warwickshire 10 26
Devon and Cornwall 9 33
Derbyshire 8 34
Gwent 8 34
South Wales 8 34
Wiltshire 8 34
Greater Manchester 7 38
Humberside 7 38
Lincolnshire 7 38
Northamptonshire 7 38
Thames Valley 7 38
Bedfordshire 1 43
Where does your force rank?
Lets just say mine is a non-mover set to be dumped by the record label!!
Thursday, 4 October 2007
Wednesday, 26 September 2007
The Final Score
Its the early evening we have just finished dealing with a crappy neighbour dispute. When we receive a call to a very busy estate, a report of an on going domestic by a neighbour. We are not far away and wanna get out of this street ASAP so we make are excuses and tear off.
We arrive on scene to be greeted by the female, she runs into the front garden in some very revealing pink PJ's. She shouts out 'he's run out the back door!' We run around to the rear lane but he's gone. We search the rear gardens nothing, except in the rear garden of this house there is a pile of clothes and a toothbrush strewn on some weeds purporting to be a lawn.
Never mind, I go inside and start getting her account. My colleague chats with the informant next door.
She says they've had a row and he's kicked her.
I ask if there are any marks but I there are none. I also ask if she wants to make a complaint this time. I've never been here myself but apparently she has made several complaints before and never gone to court with them. She is not entirely sure but in the end she states she does want to give a statement. So I start taking a statement I begin by getting some background, how many kids they have, what lead up to the row etc. All the time I've got Ant and Dec full blast on the TV and their eldest child of 18 months who's just started walking going through my file and pulling at my paperwork.
I've written about a page and a half by this stage.
She states she slapped him first.
Woman 1 Man 0
She then states he kicked her until she fell on the floor.
Woman 1 Man 1
I say that's fine he can't claim self defence as its not really proportionate to a slap. I ask did anything else happen? Well I did get a knife and shout I'm going to f**king kill you she adds does that make a difference? My colleague informs me that's what the neighbour heard and that's why she called us.
Woman 2 Man 1
Anything else I ask. Shall I mention the bit where I him with the chair?
Woman 3 Man 1
Oh dear I say. We explain that if he is arrested there are likely to be counter allegations. She ponders on this, then decides not to make a complaint after all.
PNB signed happy days.
I think he'd already lost this round.
Friday, 21 September 2007
Where were the parents???
He and his 8 year old sister went to the lake, the young girl got into difficulties in the lake and the boy tried to save her. Two passer's by then got in and pulled out the girl unfortunately the little boy slipped under and disappeared from view.
Two PCSO's attended the scene, but for whatever reason they did not assist in rescuing the young boy.
I've just watched the mother on the news having a go at the police and asking 'why didn't the PCSOs jump in and save her boy?'
I've got some questions for the mother, where were you whilst this was happening?? Why did you allow your 8 and 10 year old children to go to a lake unsupervised??
The police have defended the PCSOs stating they were not trained for live saving. Well neither are regular PC's (except for Devon and Cornwall).
The fact they were PCSO's is irrelevant. They as individuals had to make a split second life or death decision. They were there they had the information, they know their own physical capabilities they knew the condition of the water and all the other impact factors.
Personally I probably would have jumped into a lake in the month of may to save a live. But I'm a fit male twenty something. If it was the north sea in December I'd have to think twice.
The point is this is another example of the public blaming the police solely responsible for something, when maybe they are partially responsible.
Monday, 17 September 2007
Cooking the books.
Be they hospital waiting lists, exam results or ambulance response times etc. For the police however the government has decided that the way a police force will be judged is by the percentage of crimes they 'solve' or 'detect' compared to the number of crimes reported as a percentage.
This has the following effect, all the forces are then compared with each other and ranked. My force has come in at around forth from bottom, so all the big bosses got a bollocking from the Chief Constable. Then all the Chief superintendents got a bollocking and so on and so on until the sector inspectors gave their sergeants a bollocking.
Then all us Pc's at the bottom of the pile get told to get out there and get some detections!
This has had the following effect in our nick, on every wall is a poster stating the minimum number we each require each month. (Several officers have now been called into the inspectors office and been asked to account for why they've failed to meet this target invented by the inspector). The inspector has written all our names on the whiteboard and next to it the number of detections for each month.
I thought that our nick was bad, in our neighbouring nick its even worse with an actual race to who can get the most each month with a points system and prizes for the winner !!!!
As I said a detection is a detected crime. Now a detected crime could be solving a murder, a rape, a robbery or a burglary. However a crime could also be a person person swearing in the street or it could be a lad having a spliff in a park.
It takes about 15 minutes to issue a £80 ticket for section 5 and even less time to issue a street warning for possession of cannabis. However each one still counts as one detected crime the same as a murder, rape, robbery or burglary.
So we are actually being encouraged by the bosses to get these 'quick' hits. This has led to any officer get some time to be pro-active they are not really looking for robbers or burglars they'd rather find a group of lads sharing a spliff.
I have also heard rumours of officers actually winding up people until they contravene section 5 then issuing them with a ticket.
It's almost as if nothing else matters just get some quick detections, even to the point where are discretion is being taken away. Perhaps you may be dealing with something that could potentially lead to a charge but is probably better to sort out another way i.e a playground scrap or some unwanted texts. You find yourself thinking why bother just get them charged. Which has lead to this.
So if you see your local Chief Constable in the paper or on the news going on about how much their force has improved and solved loads more crime, the likely hood isn't that they haven't solved any more murders, rapes, robberies or burglaries they just learnt how to cook the books.
There is more on this in tonight's episode of panorama 'wasting police time' on BBC1 at 8.30.
Wednesday, 29 August 2007
Prison strike
The strike is illegal, the same as it is with us police officers it is illegal for prison officers to go on strike. However they have still gone on strike!
The reason for their strike, the government haven't given them the pay rise they wanted for the last two years and they have to deal with more and more violence.
Sound familiar??? Would we go on an illegal strike?
No probably not and why? Well who would bail out the government if we went on strike?? I'm sure we will bail them out by looking after the prisons while the prison officers go on strike just as we bailed them out when the firefighters went on strike.
Then when they get the pay rise they want our 'toothless' federation will continue to negotiate for our pay rise but ultimately the government know we will have to take what we are given.
For any MOP reading it is illegal for police officers to join a trade union and it is illegal for us to strike therefore our federation has no influence what so ever on the government.
(PCSO's however are allowed to join a trade union! Maybe we could go on strike and leave them in charge!!!!)
Friday, 17 August 2007
The matador of Exmoor
I love the way the poor bobby runs in a catoon style, quality!!
Monday, 13 August 2007
Sweet 16
Here's a story you've probably already seen in the news.Friday, 10 August 2007
Oh I do love to be beside the seaside !!

Some naughty Gwent police officers have apparently been getting up to no good.
They have been playing a game of who can travel the furthest out of force without getting caught. Then taking pictures, allegedly taking pictures of each other whilst on the log flume at Barry Island!
Tuesday, 7 August 2007
POLAC
Now that's what I call a POLAC!
Its amazing both the rider and passenger are still able to make off!
P.S As you can see I'm having some difficulties with the layout of my blog.
Thursday, 2 August 2007
He loves me tho
I've had previous dealings with 'J' and had a little knowledge of the situation so I attended. 'J' is a funny sort if she hadn't been raised on a diet of cigarettes and take away meals she probably would be quite pretty, but this life style had left her gaunt and pale. Although she was almost thirty she had the frame of a teenager and if it wasn't for the tobacco stained teeth she'd pass for twenty. She was always very quiet and almost withdrawn.
The reason I know 'J' is because about October last year she attended the station with a broken jaw, in fact it was broken in three places. She told me it was her on/off partner 'T'. He'd got pissed one night, punched her in the face and kept her locked in the house all night and all the next day without any medical treatment. Just imagine enduring the pain of a broken jaw for 24 hours without so much as an asprin. Eventually he left and she ran to her friends house who took her to hospital. Whilst there she claimed she fell off a chair whilst decorating. A week after this her friend persuaded her to report it to the police.
I found out later from her friend that she'd been reluctant to contact the police because she knew if social services found out the child was there while all this was happening they'd take the child away at that time. 'J' told me the child wasn't there that night and he was at her friends, her friend was supposed to tell me this version as well but told me the truth.
So here she was barely able to talk, I took the statement, crimed it as a section 18 and unlawful imprisonment. I informed CID, hoping they would take it on, but as soon as I mentioned it was domestic related they didn't want to know. I then began trying to track down 'T', unfortunately 'T' was a habitual criminal and as soon as he found out we were after him he went to ground.
I tried every thing, circulated him on PNC, enquires at all his associates, DWP checks. I spent several mornings in plain clothes waiting for him to sign on at the job centre. I even put him on the crimestoppers website and arranged for an appeal on the local news version of crimewatch. But not a peep.
Then on Christmas eve, he was stopped drink driving fantastic! I was off over Christmas so CID agreed to take it on. When I returned I checked with CID as to how they got on.
The reply? 'J' had dropped the complaint!!! The reason? He'd managed to convince her he loved her and wouldn't do it again. Typical!
Anyway back to this call, just after I arrived the duty inspector arrived. We spoke with the social worker and 'J's support worker who were at scene. They rang her mobile and persuaded her to return, which she did.
Upon her return the social worker explained they were taking her son into care because 'T' had continued to abuse her and this made the home an unsafe place for the child to live.
I looked at her and felt like saying 'If only you'd followed through with your complaint, this would never have happened because he'd be inside right now'
I didn't say it. I didn't need to.
I looked at her, she already knew that.
Thursday, 26 July 2007
Don't believe the hype
For a moment I watch with some interest, remembering the anticipation with which I applied to join the ‘FORCE’. I remember the excitement of my first shift, thinking when do the chases start? Ah well maybe they start on day two, bit too much to expect on the first day.
The thing is with these shows is that they don’t really reflect real life policing. These programs show a highly concentrated, over hyped, highly edited version of policing. I wonder how many hours the camera men have to follow the coppers around to get an half hour show? Even then some of the footage is very mundane.
I’m not saying I never get foot chases or pursuits but if a camera man had been following me around for the last two years they wouldn’t even fill up a half hour program. I actually work in a very busy part of a large city, it just doesn’t happen like it does on TV.
To anyone not yet in the police and thinking about joining please remember. For every five minutes of excitement there are months of paperwork and dealing with trivial squabbles amongst the underclass.
What also winds me up is you may see someone driving a stolen car like a loon, putting dozens of lives at risk for miles and miles, or a drunk spitting, swearing and attacking police officers, then at the end of the program, while every one has got up to put the kettle on and whilst being drowned out by the theme tune you will hear Jamie Theakston say either the following: The male arrested in the stolen car who drove across three counties whilst high on drugs and failed to stop for police was given a referral order. Or no charges were brought against the drunk woman who bit off a bouncers ear and spat in the police officers face
Here’s just one example of the infamous Pat and Carl.
Monday, 23 July 2007
The Flying Squad !!!
Watch and enjoy. Listen to the female officer trying not to laugh, this chap is obviously a boss as well. I bet he'd go nuts if he knew this video was on the net. If you know where its from and who he is let me know.
Saturday, 21 July 2007
The Knife
Some years ago there was a small rural station that the powers that be had decided needed knocking down and a new station needed to be built in its place. So the old station needed to be cleared out.
As one of the officers was clearing out the property store he came across some photos of a murder that had happened many years previously. There were of course pictures of the victim, the murder scene and the murder weapon. The murder weapon was a distinctive long wooden handled bread knife, with a serrated edge, and where there was once two prongs on the end of the knife there was now only one.
Hmmm, the officer thought to himself this knife looks familiar. He then realised this murder weapon had someway found its way into the cutlery draw and they had been using it for all these years since!!!
Monday, 16 July 2007
Balearic Beats
As I was sat in the sun on a certain Spanish island sipping San Miguel, I was still thinking about work. In particular I remembered a story that a friend of mine told me about when he and a group of his mates visited this party island.
One night he and his mates were out drinking and they thought it would be a good laugh to jump around in the fountains in the middle of the central plaza. A good laugh it was too, until the Spanish police turned up.
Who promptly dragged them out of the fountains, kept hold of them and then proceeded to beat them with their batons.
Understandably this had the desired effect my friend and his group never went near the fountains ever again and every time they saw a Spanish copper they made sure they kept their heads down and their mouths shut.
This raises several issues, surely this approach is more effective than a £80 fine?
Secondly where’s the JPLAN in that? Where’s the five step appeal? Where’s the conflict resolution model? Spain is part of the EU, presumably they have the human rights act too, how can they get away with this type of behaviour?
This video of Spanish police at an anti Iraq war protest illustrates the behaviour I’m talking about.
How can they get away with this?? Imagine the outcry if this footage was of an incident in the UK.