The Knife

Here's a tale that I was told whilst in training. Although it sounds like a tall story judging by the miss match of random knives, forks and various other kitchen utensils lurking in the cutlery draw in our nick I can see it could be true.

Some years ago there was a small rural station that the powers that be had decided needed knocking down and a new station needed to be built in its place. So the old station needed to be cleared out.

As one of the officers was clearing out the property store he came across some photos of a murder that had happened many years previously. There were of course pictures of the victim, the murder scene and the murder weapon. The murder weapon was a distinctive long wooden handled bread knife, with a serrated edge, and where there was once two prongs on the end of the knife there was now only one.

Hmmm, the officer thought to himself this knife looks familiar. He then realised this murder weapon had someway found its way into the cutlery draw and they had been using it for all these years since!!!

Balearic Beats

You may have noticed a lack of posts recently, you may not have, you may not care less. Anyway the reason for this has been AL. Yay!!

As I was sat in the sun on a certain Spanish island sipping San Miguel, I was still thinking about work. In particular I remembered a story that a friend of mine told me about when he and a group of his mates visited this party island.

One night he and his mates were out drinking and they thought it would be a good laugh to jump around in the fountains in the middle of the central plaza. A good laugh it was too, until the Spanish police turned up.

Who promptly dragged them out of the fountains, kept hold of them and then proceeded to beat them with their batons.

Understandably this had the desired effect my friend and his group never went near the fountains ever again and every time they saw a Spanish copper they made sure they kept their heads down and their mouths shut.

This raises several issues, surely this approach is more effective than a £80 fine?

Secondly where’s the JPLAN in that? Where’s the five step appeal? Where’s the conflict resolution model? Spain is part of the EU, presumably they have the human rights act too, how can they get away with this type of behaviour?

This video of Spanish police at an anti Iraq war protest illustrates the behaviour I’m talking about.




How can they get away with this?? Imagine the outcry if this footage was of an incident in the UK.

I think I've flooded the engine.

Watch and enjoy. Comments please.

I like the way the driver pauses, thinks about it, then goes for it, OOOPS!!!!

A little respect

During my last set of shifts I’ve had two experiences where I’ve thought WTF I’m a police officer how dare you speak to me like that!

These weren’t shit bags these were supposedly ‘upstanding’ members of the community.
I can understand our regular customers having a go at us. Any chance we get we either arrest them/search them/ or knock their door in the middle of the night. But generally if you are ‘tidy’ with them they are ‘tidy’ with you. They know it’s a game sometimes they lose and we catch them but mostly they win and get away with it.

Saturday I was dealing with a motor cyclist I had just stopped on a busy high street, meanwhile there were two traffic wardens on the opposite side of the road booking cars. The traffic wardens have a problem with the car they are booking and call me over to assist. While I’m then helping the traffic wardens a middle aged, middle class male comes out of his shop and begins to rant in a loud irate tone at the two female wardens and myself. He’s going ‘YOU LOT ARE A BUNCH OF PARASITES, YOU ARE NEVER AROUND IN THE WEEK, ONLY ON WEEKENDS ON OVERTIME!!’ which shows what he knows. He would not calm down, the street was packed there we onlookers with their children and everything. He came so close to coming in on a section 5. But I just could not believe this was coming from a supposedly ‘upstanding’ member of society.

Then Tuesday night I’m on route to an immediate with a black female colleague when we are passing through the student area of the sector and we see a white male wearing a green shirt collapsed on the floor. We stop pull over and I approach the male who is obviously a student and out of his head on drink. I shake his shoulders and he comes round the first thing he does is say ‘FUCK OFF’ he continues swearing and saying why you bothering me. He gets to his feet, I try to get some details from him he refuses his details. Still continuing to swear and asking why we are bothering him we explain we are concerned for his safety he replies to my colleague ‘why do you care I’m white, you don’t give a fuck about me’. Again he was so close to coming in on a section 5, however we resumed to our immediate.

A few minutes later another immediate came out just around the corner from where we left this male; possible burglary in progress a male in a green shirt has just smashed the front window and gone inside. Me and my colleague know exactly who it is and divert. When we get there sure enough there he is inside, crashed out on the floor. We presume the obvious, that its his gaff and he’s lost his key. I climb through the window and let in my colleagues. I again manage to rouse him and he becomes abusive again I again ask his name this time to ascertain if he really is resident there. Again he refuses, but this time I mean it so I tell him he’s under arrest for section 110 of socap. We all struggle while I try to put the cuffs on eventually we win and throw him on the bed. All of a sudden he changes, he blurts out his name and details. He continues his dad is a judge and he’s studying law and begs us to not lock him up. Lucky for him we confirm he lives there and release him. (the damage is now between him and his landlord to sort out, I guess he won’t be seeing his bond back)

Again I just can’t get over how these supposedly ‘good’ law abiding people can treat us like we are shit. What is going on in society do people really have that little respect for us?

Pedal Power

Police officers in West Mercia are reported to have commandeered a rickshaw in order to respond to a assistance call!!

Is that using initiative or being lazy??

Burglar Bill

Ooops, the Beeb have an interesting story.

A police station in Northern Ireland was burgled after the last one to leave forgot to lock the door and turn on the alarm.

I think that person needs to look here.

CODE 4

Late 2005 the bosses decided not to renew the catering contracts for the canteens (there were only 3 in our division any way and not one in my nick) not because they wanted to save money, oh no it was so we could 'eat in the community'.

Now a memo has come round saying we are not to buy food in uniform. We a can't even pop into tesco's express or the local Mc/kebab/curry outlets whilst rushing between calls on our 12 hour shifts.

This is in response to local busy bodies writing into the local paper complaining about seeing officers eating! This is after we were told to eat in the communities!!

It wasn't like they were having a three course meal in restaurant they were eating pasties from Greggs on route to another call!

Do they think we are robots or something?!

We still have to eat we ARE still human beings!!!