Concern for male

Learnt another valuable lesson the other day, never volunteer for a call before getting all the facts.

I foolishly volunteered for a call the other day and then asked for control to pass details. The details went some thing like this: concern for male hasn't been seen for a few days, there is now several days milk on his doorstep. - Great I thought.

Rather predictably, knock knock on the door, boot the door in, search the very minging house. Hmmm what a interesting smell coming from the bathroom. Poor chap, passed away Elvis style on the bog.

Not a pretty sight, and as anyone in the job knows it is now my responsibility to search the body for any signs of foul play. The things we do to pay the mortgage I thought to myself as I struggle to lift a half naked corpse off a lavatory and begin examining it.

Apparently over 250 people pass away this way every year a colleague has since informed me. I wonder how I will pass away?

(I hope its peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather who was a bus driver, and not screaming in terror like his passengers)

A shaggy dog story

Well they've done it again!!

Click the title to be taken to the full news story.

Basically a certain force started a full scale major investigation after finding a trail of blood in a park. Only to discover a lady's dog had cut its leg on some glass whilst she was out walking it!

All I can say is, I feel sorry for the officers who had to guard the scene all night in the middle of February!

Karma Police

I'm not having much luck lately!

Picture the scene, you arrive for work in your car there is no parking for officers inside a compound or car park so you are forced to park on the street. This is because when the station was built in 1880 (i kid you not) police officers parking their cars was not a consideration as cars were not invented yet! so you are forced to park on the narrow street along with all the other cars.

A few hours later you're in the nick minding your own business, you hear bang! crash! wallop! you make your way down stairs out the back to see two vehicles smashed up on the junction nearby. Never mind you think to yourself just make sure section 170 is complied with and maybe do an accident book.

Then you realise these two vehicles have also hit your own lovely car! bad enough? it gets worse.

Then you you speak to the drivers, your colleague a rather keen special constable takes details while you examine your car. Meanwhile one of the drivers slips away!

A few radio checks reveal the vehicle is not insured etc etc.

Then you look at the offending vehicle and remember you stopped this vehicle yesterday as it had no tax. You spoke to the driver who gave you a load of cock and bull which you foolishly believed therefore you didn't do a PNC check.

Which would have revealed the vehicle was uninsured, the driver unlicenced, therefore you would have had it seized, therefore it wouldn't have been on the road the following day to smack into your vehicle!!!

Is it me or is that some kind of karma !!??