STOP POLICE!

Well I don't mean to boast but my last set of shifts was great (please see my last post).

On my second night shift I was out with two others in plain clothes on an operation when a call comes in two males breaking into a car. We are only round the corner in a car we borrowed from CID so we get there and can't find the car in question. I get out and walk down a side street, there it is still with the two lads sat inside unbelievable!

As I approach the boy in the drivers seat looks straight at me, as I reach for the door handle he calmly pushes down the lock! CRAP! Then his mate is out and running, I give chase I manage to grab his hoody which comes off in my hands. Then time seemed to stop as he pauses, I look at him, he looks at me, I look at the hoody in my hands, then the foot chase begins again!! I manage to get on the air whilst running to give my location.

As I'm running he's looking back surprised I'm still hot on his heals and looking a little worried, for some reason I forgot I was in plain clothes and I didn't think to call out 'STOP POLICE' I called out 'WHEN I GET HOLD OF YOU I'M GONNA F**K YOU UP!' which is very out of character for me. I guess I've spending too much time with my footy fan colleagues which I followed with 'DON'T TRY TO OUTRUN ME I RUN MARATHONS!' I've never run more than the distance from my house to the train station before!

We run about 250 yards. Then coming towards us is a uniformed patrol, the driver pulls up in front of us and times the opening of her door perfectly, hitting him in the knees! The other PC runs around the patrol car and we both dive on the suspect!

Later I'm waiting to book the suspect into custody he says to me 'YOU'RE SAFE YOU ARE BRA, YOU WAS RIGHT BEHIND ME ALL THE WAY NOT LIKE THEM OTHER COPPERS.' I said ' WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP?' he replied 'I THOUGHT YOU WERE SOME HAVE AGO HERO GONNA FILL ME IN'

That's the second time in a week its been like in The Bill!

PS if you were wondering some of my colleagues caught the other one

Bang to rights

Hello fellow bloggers, you may have noticed that I haven't posted in a while. Well to be honest I haven't really been enjoying work much lately, so when my rest days came around I've rather not think about the job and enjoy my rest days. All the politics, bureaucracy and shits getting off Scot free had got me down.

But that all changed yesterday afternoon when for once I was in the right place at the right time and managed to catch three burglars 'bang to rights' singled handed (well with some assistance from my PCSO colleague)! All but the one who was the lookout have 'had it' in interview and I'm back in the sarge's good books. For the first time in a while I remembered why I joined the job in first place. Its hardly ever like an episode of The Bill, but the few times when it is it makes it all worth it.

Nothing Changes

"We trained hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning
to form up into teams, we would be reorganized. I was to learn later
in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing;
and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress
while producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization."


by: Gaius Petronius Arbiter
Date: 210 BC

I saw this quote and couldn't believe how relevant it was to today's police force especially mine despite being over 2000 years old.

I have only been independent for 12 months yet I have moved shifts three times and stations twice. I am not alone I think everyone in my BCU has been moved at least once this year. Just when people are getting settled and teams are beginning to gel its all move again for the chief's latest theory on how we should be organised.

They don't seem to understand it doesn't matter how many times they divide us up they still have the same amount of officers and the same amount of calls coming in for the area.

Is it just my force, or are all forces like this?

Czech mate

Above is a clip of some of our Czech counterparts finding a new use for their traffic control paddles. It is absolutely hilarious! Keep watching till the end when they nearly get caught!

F**k the police

Check out this politically correct 'British' version of a US rap song.

Whoops!

Please click the title for the full news story.

Now I'm not trained to the level required in order to pursue vehicles. Its a three week course before you can even put the blue lights on and then even more weeks training for the next grade.

I know accidents can happen but hitting a lamp post??

Really that is a bit embarrassing!

Now there may be an issue with the fact the officers were a little out of practice I suspect there aren't to many pursuits in this part of the world. (only joking boys)

Concern for male

Learnt another valuable lesson the other day, never volunteer for a call before getting all the facts.

I foolishly volunteered for a call the other day and then asked for control to pass details. The details went some thing like this: concern for male hasn't been seen for a few days, there is now several days milk on his doorstep. - Great I thought.

Rather predictably, knock knock on the door, boot the door in, search the very minging house. Hmmm what a interesting smell coming from the bathroom. Poor chap, passed away Elvis style on the bog.

Not a pretty sight, and as anyone in the job knows it is now my responsibility to search the body for any signs of foul play. The things we do to pay the mortgage I thought to myself as I struggle to lift a half naked corpse off a lavatory and begin examining it.

Apparently over 250 people pass away this way every year a colleague has since informed me. I wonder how I will pass away?

(I hope its peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather who was a bus driver, and not screaming in terror like his passengers)